Many people choose to find out the sex of their baby and the vast majority of these families do so with ultrasound. I've written before about how ultrasound isn't always accurate and that be careful how much planning that you do based on an ultrasound. I'm usually left comments about how I'm wrong and I should be quiet. But this note from this mom touched my heart. She loves her baby, but feels heart broken after months of dreaming and planning for a baby girl.
"I was so ecstatic to hear that I was having a girl at my 22 week ultrasound. Went for my very last ultrasound today the week before I'm due only to find out its a boy. Not only do I have to return the clothes and stuff, but I'm really bummed out because I had been so wrapped up in it being a girl. I'll still love my son, but right now it's kind of heartbreaking."
This is what I call the mental miscarriage, the loss of the dream baby. This happens for lots of reasons, some physical like a baby who has to go to the NICU, has a physical problem, etc. But it can also happen in cases like this where the mom was told that the baby was one sex and it's really another. (This is different from gender disappointment from finding out that the baby was not the preferred gender.) Having worked with quite a few moms like this, I can tell you, they really are quite sad and drained and the vast majority don't understand why, particularly because they know and appreciate that they are still having healthy babies, just not the boy or girl they've been mentally imagining for months.
Have you known any one who has experienced this themselves? Have you experienced it?
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The Baby Wasn't the Girl I Was Expecting originally appeared on About.com Pregnancy & Childbirth on Tuesday, November 15th, 2011 at 08:57:32.
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