When I first heard I was having twins, I laughed. I laughed not from fear or feeling out of control. I laughed because my family had just outgrown our mini-van - the very thing I used to convince my husband we should have one more baby, one lonely seat in the mini-van. Now, not only was that seat gone, but we'd actually need another seat. The good news is that, laughter was the exact same reaction he had.
My twins just turned ten years old. They came into our lives as babies number five and six. We were experienced parents. We knew what we were doing. And yet, despite all of that, despite the fact that they were full term, high birth weights, and every other perfect thing a twin mom could want - it was so hard. It was so hard, I can barely remember their first year of life. It's all pretty fuzzy.
I remember so bits of it, or perhaps the bits I remember are only because they involve survival or something I've seen in a photo. Did you know that on Tuesday and Thursday nights when my husband took a class, I'd put all the kids in the mini-van, I'd put on a video and drive through Taco Bell. We'd sit in the car, often in the drive way, watching a movie and eating dinner - just so no one could move around. It's true, I fully admit it.
Now when someone tells me they are having twins, my gut reaction is to tell them all of the scary stuff for the first year. The lack of memories. The memories of barely coping or of coping in ways that aren't my idea of stellar parenting. (I should say weren't as we all made it through alive and the kids honestly loved Taco Bell movie night.) What keeps me from doing that is the fact that I truly feel that in some ways my ignorance was bliss. Though, had I know, perhaps I would have planned better. Which is it? I'm still not sure.
What I know right now is that I am so blessed to have had twins. My daughters have taught me so much. They are a joy to watch. It's been an amazing journey from trying to learn about twin pregnancy, working out all of the details of the healthiest birth for them, working hard to get to term, managing those newborn days, figuring out if they were identical or fraternal (identical for me) and so many more milestones.
So when someone says they're having twins, I try to smile and tell them:
- it's a wild ride, hang on for dear life
- take a lot of photos (pregnancy and babies)
- accept any and all help
- it will all be okay
What's your advice for a mom-to-be of twins or more?
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Photo © April's Grape Vine Photography
Having Twins is Hard originally appeared on About.com Pregnancy & Childbirth on Monday, February 11th, 2013 at 09:03:01.
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