Today would be the 22nd birthday of my nephew, Nathan. He was such a sweet baby and my "practice" baby. He was born about five weeks before my first child was born, so I used to really enjoy taking care of him. I even enjoyed the diapers! I can distinctly remember holding him up to my pregnant belly and wondering how all six pounds of him would fit inside my body, knowing my baby would have to be smaller. (She wasn't!)
Nathan lived to be four and a half months old, dying of SIDS in the spring of 1992, about one month before the American Academy of Pediatrics released their, now famous, publication discussing the benefits of back sleeping in the prevention of SIDS. Thankfully for my family, Nathan was sleeping on his back, we could wipe away that issue of potential guilt. In an effort to share Nathan with his older brother and cousin (my daughter), we would talk about him often. In this month of Infant Loss remembrance, I often recall something my daughter asked when she was older - are their birthdays in Heaven?
Kids really see a loss very differently than adults. This is something we don't think about when we approach the topic. Many of us are ill equpied to deal with our own grief and questions to even consider what the little ones think. So, here are some of the resources that I can offer you as you may struggle with this issue yourself:
What kinds of questions did you get asked by your kids?
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Happy birthday in Heaven? originally appeared on About.com Pregnancy & Childbirth on Thursday, October 24th, 2013 at 15:14:24.
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